Vocation: daughterhood
Whenever I come to reflect on the concept of vocation, it always seems like something that is waiting for me in the distant future; perhaps less distant considering I will be married in a couple of months. However, spending time with my peers in the San Damiano Scholars program at Marian University, there has been the prompting to reflect on your vocation in the here and now. In other words, what is Christ calling me to be here and now?
Of course, we are called to know love and serve our Lord, and to love our neighbor, but this still can take on many different forms for people. I know that my sister Olivia serves in the pro-life movement with her best friends, and my sister Izzy helps our neighbors with their animals, and my brother Erik loves to serve at Mass, so of course vocation isn’t waiting for us when we marry or take religious vows. I am sure I am preaching the obvious, but there is a specific vocation that has taken over my heart during my time in adoration and reflection. It is something of preparation for our future Vocation. And this one is for the ladies.
Many people have asked me what it is like being the oldest daughter in such a large family, and often have expressed pity for me. How awful it must be: to care for so many littles, change so many diapers, manage larger chores, have to be a constant role model, never have a moment alone, and usually be the one called on to help mom carry cleaning, cooking, and teaching from time to time. Most often what I hear is that I missed my childhood, and I should never put my children through such ridiculous work and expectations. This was a lot for me to turn over in my head throughout my teenage years. Imagine being told all of this at fifteen or sixteen, that your parents robbed you of a childhood because they wanted to have as many kids as God would give them.
I never quite had an answer to the way people would respond to my position other than telling them I don’t really mind all the kids, I was used to it, and that they are kinda funny and super cute. I really loved and cared for my siblings then, but everyone thought I was crazy and possibly brainwashed. Now as I am older and able to look back at life more clearly, I realize that my upbringing and all the responsibilities that came with it were such a beautiful gift from God. Being a sister to that many siblings is such a huge responsibility, and it takes up a lot of time, but it taught me how deeply and profoundly love and sacrifice are tied together. For every stinky diaper, every crying baby early in the morning, every load of laundry or stack of dishes, and heavy baby sitting on my hip, Christ was forming a heart to take on my next vocation of motherhood.
I hope this reflection can reach out to any parents who fear that they are burdening their current children with too many new children, and to the older siblings who feel a bit worn from caring for so many little ones. To the parents; never fear, for in every new life you bring to this world is another beautiful soul that can come to know and love our Lord. You are giving the older children the opportunity to truly understand what love and sacrifice are. That is such a gift!
To the older siblings, especially the girls; Jesus sees all of your little sacrifices you make for your siblings, and the daily laying down of your life to help love them and care for them.
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